#005///A Cook's Patois: An Incomplete Glossary
Sometimes I attempt to stand back, to be apart from the rest of the kitchen and try to experience it from the perspective of some regular person lucky enough to have some job not involving grease traps and gratuity, who has just been dropped into our little world unexpectedly. An out of clogs experience I like to call it. In these moments, I am often surprised by the everyday minutia of our trade. For example, on any given day any of the following phrases come out of my mouth, sometimes ad naseum:
"Is seven's third on fire? Put it up on the flip once you give that plate a rim-job."-or-
"I'm throwing the birds in to flash for the deuce then I'm going to go bail out the pit, he's totally wooded."
-or-
"I need a runner and a follow, food is dying in the window! Stab your dupes, ladies! I need you to walk on sunshine!"
The patois of any craft is interesting. The chit language and shorthand spoken among cooks is a peek into the transient nature of the line cook as well as the variety of the people who have worked together over the years. One could follow a cook's career path in a strange sociological study just backtracking the terminology he leaves in his wake. I first heard the term "Kaboyah" in 1997 in Buffalo, N.Y. and have since helped spread the philosophy of Kaboyah throughout the country until in 2009 I saw it in print from a cook-turned-food-critic based in Austin, TX. As far as I know, a catering sous chef named George from the west side of Buffalo invented that shit.
For the sake of posterity, I have started a list of food service jargon so the lay folk can cross reference this with any shop talk they may come across to help better understand the service class.
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Open Count - Referring to open menus in the dining room, meaning the number of guests perusing menus in the restaurant currently whose orders will be coming into the kitchen soon.
Heads - Guests in the restaurant; Could be used regarding individual tables ("There are four heads at table seven.") or at large ("We have forty heads milling about the bar.")
Covers - Same as heads, guest count, but for some reason only used in the past tense ("We did a hundred covers tonight.")
Resibooks - Shorthand for 'reservation books.' These pages, be they digital or physical paper, are the closest thing we in service have to a crystal ball. Considerate diners want to have the best evening possible so they call ahead to the restaurant, regardless of the evening or the time they wish to dine, and let their hosts know they will be coming so they can be expected and therefore entertained well.
On the Fly - As fast as humanly possible.
On the Flip - Same as on the fly, but faster.
Fire - Firing is the term used when the guest is ready for the next course of their meal ('Fire course three, table 14.')
Straight Fire - a term signifying that a table is not getting appetizers and that their entrees are to be cooked immediately when coursing out tables, the hope is that there will be one or two courses before the entrees, which take longest to prepare. That way the guest can get food without any seeming wait, as salads and appetizers generally are items that are quick preparations. When a table comes in and wants a well done strip steak 'straight fire' that table will be tapping it's proverbial toe while they wait for that sumbitch to get done.
Coats - Chefs; Cooks generally wear chef coats, simple enough.
Shirts - Servers; Servers don't wear coats designed in eighteenth century France.
FOH - Abbreviation for 'Front Of the House'; waitstaff or the dining room they work in; generally one of the two divisions of labor in restaurants; those who work for the maitre d' or dining room manager.
BOH - Back of the House; cooks or the kitchen they work in; generally one of the two divisions of labor in restaurants; those who work for the chef or kitchen manager.
In The Weeds, Weeded - A cook has more to do than he can manage
In the Woods, Wooded, Woodered - A cook who has more to do than he can manage and is shutting down due to over-whatever, thus making matters worse.
Slider Course - When one guy at a table decides to order an additional course than the other guests at his table. This results in an oddly timed course and it is generally agreed that this guy is going to get about three minutes to enjoy his additional course before the next course goes out.
Dishpit - The area of the kitchen where the dishwasher and, hopefully, the dish machine are located.
Dishdogs, Pit Rats - Terms of endearment for the dishwasher.
The Line - The part of the kitchen where service is executed; named for the gas line running to all of the equipment and also because most kitchens are long narrow affairs the cooks stand in a line.
Walk In - A room sized cooler that cooks walk into to get the items needed for prep or service, or just to have a moment to themselves to cool off.
The Stoop - Where cooks take their breaks, whether it is a break room in the basement, a loading dock or just the area near the dumpster its called the stoop.
Stoopin' It - Going to have a cigarette on the stoop.
Uppie - The term used when an order is 'up' or ready to be taken to the appropriate table, as in, "Table three - Uppie!"
The Floor - The dining room.
Flash - A quick reheat after something has been prepared right before it gets plated.
The Tiles - A term for the kitchen; Kitchens are traditionally floored with cheap terracotta tile in order to promote cracked flooring, broken glassware and injuries as a result of slipping.
Non-slips - The preferred tread of any kitchen footwear; Work shoes. Traditionally cooks wear clogs with slip resistant soles.
Slinging Kegs - The unfortunate act of putting away a beer delivery. Dreaded by most linecooks and dishwashers.
Dupes - Short for 'duplicate tickets;' When an order is rung into the kitchen they print on duplicate, sometimes triplicate tickets, in white, pink and yellow so multiple cooks/stations can work the same ticket
Tickets/Checks/Dupes - The physical paper the order the customer placed is written on.
FIFO - First In First Out; Shorthand reminder to use the oldest product first and to rotate product when putting away inventory.
Rim-Job - After plating a dish, a linecook wipes the plate to ensure that all crumbs, drips, herbs, leaves, juices or any other items that are supposed to be in very specific places are removed from the other places meant to be bare ceramic. This is how cooks achieve that magazine quality look the food presentation, a final wipe and polish of the plate and it's rim. Yet another example of the inappropriate double-entandres that litter cook-speak.
Follow - A second person who assists in bringing items to a table.
Heard - The LCFL approved way of answering any request; multiple meanings, primarily "Yes, I did in fact hear you and I will get to your request at the first available moment."
Behind You - A term for letting those around you with hot pans, sharp knives, etc. know that you yourself are behind them and unarmed; also "On your right/left," "Left/Right side," "Reaching."
Coming Hot - Similar to behind, but this time allowing those around you know that this time you are armed; also "Knife," "Pan," "Gun," "Look Out."
Cornering - A term used to let people who may be around a corner or doorway know you are coming in that direction and to be on the lookout just in case one of you are armed with a knife or hot pan.
Hot Open - Another term used as a warning, this time against burning those around you when you open a hot oven door.
Canadian - Term for any customers who don't tip. It is widely accepted that Canadians don't tip as a culture except in extreme cases of excellent service.
Gave me a stiffy - Not getting tipped at a table. From the common phrase, 'Get stiffed,' and spun into inappropriateness by sophomoric restaurant folk.
Corkage - The fee charged when customers bring their own wine, a practice beloved in restaurants but often not free - we have wine. Not gonna buy any? Fine. Wanna open your own in our establishment? Sure, but we need to see something for the glasses, time, wine we don't sell you.
Cutting Fee - Similar to corkage, but regarding any food you may bring into the establishment, most often cake or dessert. Cutting is usually a fraction of the average dessert cost.
The Cage - Where all liquor is kept from the sticky hands of staff, usually an actual cage. The best I ever saw was a four-by-six cage for some kind of smaller mammalia, maybe a ferret or a marmot, converted into a liquor cage for the high end liquor.
Key - Restaurant terminology for what laymen refer to a corkscrew.
Tony Time - When linecooks decide its time to acquire a buzz, whatever that buzz may be, be it on the clock or not. This practice is completely unacceptable however completely existent. Tony was a legendary heroine addict yet functional linecook in New York State at a reputable prime steakhouse. This is what his coworkers called the moments he would disappear, whether it would be ten minutes during a rush or two weeks during a binge. The term has evolved in going out drinking after work as a crew as well.
Swanyay - A complete bastardization by American cooks trying to use the French for 'swan like' and loosely translated to 'better-than-fucking-perfect.' The actual term its going after is 'soigner' which means 'to look after.' Every linecook will tell you that every table gets the same thing and that nobody is special because he already gives his best. Bullshit. Where it may be close to true, one turns it up a notch when your future in-laws are in. Generally used as a way for the chef to express quickly he will be extra picky about that table and what they get ("Gentlemen, I want that table swanyay - seat one at it has a black card. We want him back in here, heard?")
Rush, Push, Turn - A term used for a busy period during a service. The three terms are almost interchangeable, but strange rules regarding tense and quantities are adhered as to which is used in very specific moments. A rush is general and could be a quick 10 minute pop in business and could be over as quickly as it began. Rushes also are about to happen most of the time, ("You guys are about to get a rush..."). A rush is usually, at least to an extent, unexpected, whereas a push is predictable. The reservation books are a key insight into this, but history plays a huge part of it, too. You work at a diner? The push is Sunday mornings, ten to two. Work a deli counter? You're gonna be balls deep in pickup orders at one Monday through Thursday. Turns are very specific moments where the dining room fill up seemingly at once and it seems every diner has the same timing. They eventually leave together, clearing space for the next turn. A turn is a push that starts and drastically. Usually due to another event being in town, a concert or show requiring twenty thousand people in an area to show up at one specific time, those twenty thousand descend upon the surrounding restaurants serving them at once.
Turn & Burn v. Wine & Dine - Theories of service, chiefly the competing concepts of "Do we seat them fast, serve them fast, and turn over their table multiple times in an evening and make money that way?" or "Do we seat them and wow them with an experience in the hopes that they stay and spend, spend, spend?" The two ideas have about the same success rate on a national level. It just depends what kind of experience you want to give the guest. Everything, though, begins with this question when designing a restaurant. Which are you going to be? Menu, employees, even operating hours are determined by which of these philosophies you adhere to.
Add On - Anything a customer may order after they have placed their order. That side of mashed potatoes you forgot to tell your server about until the food arrives? Thats an add on.
Busboy Buffet - Any half eaten yet seemingly untouched food that comes back from a table. If you've only finished half your ribeye & decided not to box it up some busboy is going to stare long and hard at it trying to determine whether to chance hepatitis or not based on how 'touched' the food appears and the customer's physical appearance. Rule of thumb: If you'd go down on the customer you can eat their leftovers.
Eighty-Six - An item that is out of stock for whatever reason. The stories involving the etymology of this phrase are multiple and far reaching. Though no one really knows where it began it has come to mean the end of anything within restaurants. If we are out of calamari, the Fried Calamari appetizer is eighty-sixed. If a company fucks an order up for the third time they are eighty-sixed and we will take our business elsewhere. If the waitress broke up with her boyfriend she eighty-sixed his broke ass.
Shelf to Sheet - A term for representing the order of an inventory guide with the physical order of the shelves and the inventory organization by which those shelves are kept.
Reggae - Shorthand for 'regular,' as in the way an item is one the menu; usually used on an item that has special request often ("I need two Caesar salads, one SOS and one reggae.")
Rubes - An affectionate term for the customers.
Mods - Any modification that must be made for a guest from what is printed on the menu. Need a different dressing? Are you gluten free? No food touching and on separate plates? Those are mods.
SOS, DOS - The most popular mod; Short for 'Sauce On Side' and 'Dressing On Side,' respectively. On a side note, if you get your salad DOS, most people end up putting more dressing on their salad that way. Oddly, most Sauce On Siders want the sauce separate to limit the amount of high-calorie sauce used on their meals, but the cups and boats used for the sauce ends up giving the customer more that the few spoonfuls used in the standard plating. Its counter-intuitive.
Shoe Leather - This is the term when a guest orders a nice piece of meat well done. Well done is a nightmare for cooks because it throws off the timing of the meal as well done steaks take forever to cook. I have seen some shit done in an effort to get a steak to be well done quickly, from pounding tit into submission to create a thin cutlet to just chucking it into the deep fryer. If you care about your meat you should want it juicy and pink, in most cases at least.
Kaboyah - The state of mind a cook must attain to accomplish the execution of a flawless and seemingly effortless service. It's a feeling of preparedness mixed with experience that forges an experienced linecook into a tool, a weapon, a cuisine machine made to make the masses smile. When kaboyah is achieved there is nothing that with shake the linecook in question and he will lift those around into new heights of culinary execution. You know the feeling Popeye seemed to get after downing some spinach? Yeah, that. The usage, however, is an exclamation, more often than not braggadocio or victory cry ("I'm fucking ready to roll, Chef. Kaboyah!")
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Keep bangin'.
James Pawl Kane
Chef & Keeper of the Secret Language of the Line
Pawl, you will prob say I'm wrong, 86'd came about during prohabition. there was a infamous bar in NY that had an in with John q.laww and would get a heads up right before a raid. all the patrons would then exit out the back door. the address was 86 something street. hence the name 86'd. people like to add rumor and speculation because its fun. but thats the histoey kinda boring
ReplyDeleteI have literally heard dozens of explanations as to the root of 86.
ReplyDeleteI have decided to accept them all as tall tales of our legendary business.