LCFL #011//An Open Letter to Anthony Bourdain

Chef, Mr. Bourdain, Tony-
I was given your memoir as required reading in the first two weeks of my apprenticeship. It took me two days to tear through and has since inspired a career and lifestyle. My life has been spent developing my knowledge of food in the pursuit of a head chef position and the opportunity to be a part of this thing, to be part of a kitchen. I've wanted to develop an atmosphere of acceptance and unbridled passion I felt you were in search of yet unable to find in your own pursuits until Les Halles. I knew at an early age I wanted to create a home for these broken yet creative geniuses you talk about. I had a Bigfoot. I have my own, "What do you know about meat?"story. Every step of the way I was looking for similarities to your story in hopes it would give credence to mine.
Then a very funny thing happened.
The industry began to change.
Your story opened a lot of people's eyes to the realities of the restaurant industry. Eyes which had previously been focused on other things. There are very good things that have come from this. Many of the freedoms you had are gone now in exchange for a slightly - just slightly - more professional atmosphere. Kitchens are still kitchens, though, and you are revered as a god.
The reason I write this is nothing other than a hope that you appreciate the influence you have. Just a few simple examples on what milestones you have created in my life:
-The first gift my wife ever gave me was a first edition copy of the Les Halles Cookbook signed by you.
-Upon my first promotion to chef I received ticket to a speaking gig you did in Rochester as a thank you from ownership. At this event I got to get on the mic and tell you some of this already, to which I began a standing ovation. You then gave me a round of applause and though I know it's mostly showmanship I still consider one of my proudest moments.
-Each of my five apprentices with whom I have taken on, the first order of business is to give them the dogeared, highlighted and weathered first edition of Kitchen Confidential as required reading - the very same edition that was once given to me when I was an apprentice. I lifted it from my chef's office the day I helped him pack when he was fired. The fact that I stole it from him will make it somehow a more lovable story to you and most chefs, I know it in my bones.
Your books and essays have helped me develop an interest in food I did not know existed. It broadened my horizons and helped me develop what I hope is a unique style of cooking and food. I have at least become a moderately successful chef in a middling city. I am damn proud of my career to date. A career that would have been stunted or even killed had it not been for the constant stream of new information being fed to me by you.
Your level of output - though at time I'm sure was soul crushing - was prolific and constant. If not the show, then the companion memoirs. If not the memoirs then the food rag essays - I especially love the less glossy stuff you've done, like Lucky Peach. If not the rags then it was unexpected guest TV appearances - the day you appeared on YoGabbaGabba while watching with my two year old was unexpected and awesome. I could finally relate to children's programming - it usually has way too little porn and drug use for my liking.
I feel like we are old friends, you and I. When you quit smoking I considered it. I almost got a copy of your tattoo when you did, in homage to my hero.
But why did you quit cooking?
That's the only real question I got. I support your beef with Caddy. I love the network fights. Divorce and younger wives? Who gives a shit?
But why'd you quit cooking?
Travel rules. I wish I could get to do more of it. The places you've been and the things that you've done are incredible. The seal hunt? The cocaine bonfire? The fucking Cambodia shit?!?
I'd trade a lot to experience any and all of it.
Not cooking, though.
It's what got you the shows, man.
It's why you had a book.
Right?

The clock in my professional kitchen

When LineCook For Life started, like everything else, you were the inspiration. I wanted to further what I think your kitchen manifesto started, to bring the next evolution in cooks who cook for the passion, for the guy who says, "Fuck it, give it to me." The person who wants to eat well and fuck anyone else's definition of what eating 'well' means. To continue the work that has unfortunately gotten off track since the shows started, within the drinking bouts with Russians and the chewy iguanas.
We are the people who will not give up the apron. You were an assassin in your day, chef. You would have had to have been to have had your career. A bad ass line guy is a rare and beautiful thing.
How could you give that up?
I am already feeling and finding many of the pitfalls of years of line life and the wear and tear your body goes through. I will endure, come hell or high water, though, and when I can't do the line, I will expo or prep my staff. This is the only life I can or will choose. I don't understand how someone as trained, skilled and dedicated as you are could just give that shit up.
My intent is not to criticize though I know I have. I just would love to know. Honestly. Like all the other chunks of my life I look to you to chart where my career needs to go. It seems like the next step for me is to write. I'm doing that in the medium provided now-a-days and working on that cookbook everyone seems to be able to get. But after that? TV?!?
Fuck that. After that, hit the line harder than ever.
The episode when you went back to the kitchen was tough for me to watch. I had this idea in my head that you were the same as me and line cookery was like riding a bicycle. How much was show and how much was legit? How long has it been since you worked a Saturday night service? Is life better without service? It becomes a motivating factor and must be similar to quitting any drug - the life of the line cook, I mean. You had been doing it so long. You have a degree and years invested. You also had an English degree you weren't exactly using, I understand. I'm glad you did and I'm glad I got to experience your journeys second hand. I would think and incredible move would be back into restaurants, at least in some capacity.
Or are you and I am unawares?
The simplest way for me to put it is like this: I adore and worship you, sir. I find your work to be the most influential of any in my spotty career. More so than Keller, whose books have pushed me to new culinary heights. More so than Pepin, who I feel taught me the basics of cooking through Le Technique. Nearly as much as the few mentors I've had when it comes down to theory and layout of restaurant ideas. Your takes on food and spirits and restaurants at large have created a generation of like minded douchebags that I am very proud to be a part of. The legion of cooks who would take a bullet for you is substantial, yet I don't think it is growing any longer. You have a ton of non-industry folk - customers, essentially - who are paying your bills now. It was apparent at the aforementioned speaking gig what your fan base has become - more mid-forties ladies than I would have believed. When I rolled up I was expecting dirty chef coats and flasks being passed. A fog of cigarette smoke and foul language. No, it was suits, cougars and stemware. Get that money, baby - but maybe, just maybe, its time to return to the roots.
Give the line cooks a little love.
We were why you wrote your first memoir.
We love you and we want see you return to your roots.

Your big fan,
James Pawl Kane